maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Still dying that you shit outside
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
