He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
