she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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