great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
