Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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