I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
