This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
