Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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