i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
