you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
