I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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