As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
