My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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