This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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