oh god the rape fog is back!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
