We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
