Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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