I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
what day is it and did you see me today?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
