Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
