It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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