is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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