Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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