Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
