He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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