we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
