thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
