just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The best revenge is premature balding
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize