I don't think brook has ever known best
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My life is pants optional.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
