Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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