you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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