Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
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