he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
