omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I supernannyed him into submission
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
