He asked me if I "almost moaned"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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