She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
