I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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