How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
