I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
