i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
