It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
