You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just googled if crying burns calories
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
