He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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