I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
