I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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