So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
