brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
