yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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