sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Let's get the cat blown out
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
