Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize