Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
