She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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