Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
