that's an acceptable place to lick
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
