so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I am one with the molecules
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize