Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
